The Wedding Committee

About a month ago I was invited to be on a wedding planning committee for my landlords.  I was a little surprised by this invitation because 1) I have no idea how to plan a Tanzanian wedding, and 2) I thought my landlords were already married as they told us they were and they have four children the oldest of which is fourteen.  Turns out they are legally married, they just never had a ceremony.  It's pretty common practice here to get married and then have the big ceremony and reception later when you have more money.  It just seemed odd for my landlords because they're quite wealthy and I assumed they had the ceremony a long time ago.  I guess they just got busy making all that money and forgot.

Anyway, they're getting married next Saturday and I have now been to two committee meetings.  I had no idea what to expect being a wedding planner.  I was nervous I would end up organizing food for 500 people or somehow accidently volunteer to pay for the whole thing.  I went in thinking I would offer to make the wedding cake, as I have more baking experience than all the Tanzanian women in Geita combined.  I was afraid the meetings would last for hours and hours and this would be my life for a month.  Turns out I had nothing to worry about.  Nearly every woman in our neighborhood and some others as well (approximately forty or fifty) were invited to join the committee.  We all came to the meeting and introduced ourselves and then we ate peanuts and drank coke while listening to the music they were planning on using at the reception. (I was forced to dance a little bit by myself in front of all these women -- who doesn't want to laugh at an uncoordinated foreigner?) We each gave 5,000 shillings (about $3.50) to go towards a wedding gift and matching outfits for the mothers of the bride and groom.  We had a prayer and planned the date and time for the next meeting and after two hours, we went home.

It's important in Tanzania to be a part of the community.  So while my landlord had no desire for fifty women to plan her wedding, it was necessary to invite them all so they wouldn't feel left out.  It would have been terribly rude to act as if she didn't need or want all the opinions and help of her neighbors, especially the older women.  The meetings are basically little parties and in reality, a small group of about five of her closest friends are doing the bulk of the plans and preparations.  The only thing I'm in charge of is getting the wedding dress and groom's suit cleaned properly.  My teammate Alicia is in charge of picking out the fabric for the mothers' outfits and the dinnerware that the group decided would be our present to the bride.  

It's actually been a fun experience.  I've gotten to know my neighbors better and I believe have solidified my place in our little community just a little bit more.  Friday night is the bachelorette party (more peanuts and cokes and probably very loud music) and Saturday is the wedding.  It'll be the first wedding in Tanzania I'll have been to and our entire family is attending.  I'm sure there will be a blog about it.